2020 NFL Season Preview (Special COVID-19 Edition!)

The NFL season is happening? Really? They know there’s a pandemic going on, right? They do but they just don't care? Oh. Well… this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. I mean, there is just no way the league avoids a wide-spread outbreak of COVID-19. There are over 1,500 players on active NFL rosters. And those players are in close contact with one another constantly. They share locker rooms. They contact and breathe on each other constantly throughout games. And good luck keeping each and every one of them from interacting with their friends and families for 17+ weeks. 

And beyond just the active players, there are hundreds more on practice squads, waiting to get called up to an active roster once the injury bug (or COVID-19 bug) hits. And there are hundreds more vying for practice squad spots to replace the players that make it onto an active roster. So even if the league does a good job of isolating players, how do you safely bring replacement players onto a roster? Two week quarantine period? That’s simply not feasible. However, anything less will be sure to introduce COVID-19 into a locker room. 

So, there is only one way this ends. Players are going to get COVID-19. Those players are going to spread it to their entire team. That team will have to miss two weeks quarantining. And how is that quarantining process going to work? Two weeks off for the affected team? That’s an incredibly significant portion of the season! Is it fair that a team gets a two week long Bye in the middle of the season? That extra rest is very advantageous. 

And we haven’t even considered the ethical questions. Sure, the odds of any one of these players dying from COVID-19 are minuscule, but the long-term effects are undeniable. Multiple reports have indicated that a significant number of young athletes run the risk of developing Myocarditis after contracting COVID-19, which can lead to significant future health complications. And then we have to consider the greater impact/spread that playing this season will bring. Football players are in no way isolated from the community. In fact, many coaches who will be interacting with these players on a near-daily basis are in high-risk categories, due to health and age. 

So what is the argument for not cancelling this season? As you may have guessed, the only one is financial. The NFL is a massive industry. While we all imagine that every NFL player is rich, this is far from the case. The average NFL career is 3-4 years. And the average salary is $2.7 Million. Sure, that may seem like a lot, but that’s for the average player. If you are below average or just trying to make a team, every season is critical for your financial well-being. And beyond the players, there are thousands of people that work for the NFL outside of the high-paid players and coaches. And beyond that, there are many industries intertwined with the NFL in the form of Food Vendors, Advertisement, TV, etc. But is this adequate justification for a league that is at such high risk for an outbreak to continue the season? It sure doesn’t seem like it. 

But maybe the issue isn’t the people who make these decisions of whether or not to play. The problem is inherent to the system. An NFL season will never be canceled. The NFL defines America. It’s ugly. It’s unforgiving. It abuses. It entertains. It destroys dreams. It creates the fallacy of dreams. It’s the poor feeding the rich. It’s ugly. 

Last season, I discussed how alienated I felt from the NFL, due to its abusive nature and disregard for players and fans. With the Raiders heading out of town, it really felt like there was little keeping me attached to the NFL. Going to the games was my guilty pleasure. Without that pleasure, this season will undoubtedly be a huge letdown. Obviously, with the pandemic, there would have been no games to attend even if the Raiders were still playing in Oakland, so maybe it’s a moot point. But with all that being said, even with my motivation waning, I decided to at least put something out there for my two followers to read. Something to help make everything feel a bit normal again. So, in an effort to at least keep the blog alive, I figured I would give each team a one or two sentence blurb, along with a regular season prediction.

You may notice something interesting in my predictions, which is that none of the records add up to 16 games. That’s because I highly doubt any team is able to complete a season totally unaffected by COVID-19, whether it be due to a COVID-19 outbreak of their own or that of their upcoming opponent (and also the distinct possibility that entire weeks of the season are canceled due to so many games needing to be canceled in a given week). You’ll probably also notice that more dysfunctional franchises are predicted to play even fewer games. My reasoning for that should be self-explanatory. For simplicity’s sake, I have also included my non-pandemic predictions, which reflect each team’s expected record in a world where every game is actually played. As always, playoff teams are shown in italics. Check ‘em out.

2020 NFL Regular Season Predictions

 

2020 NFL Regular Season (Hypothetical, Non-Pandemic) Predictions

AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs (Last Season: 12-4)
2020 Prediction: 11-3
It used to be the Colts and Patriots who ruled the AFC. However, as the era of Manning vs. Brady finally ends, there are two new perennial powerhouses who have emerged in Kansas City and Baltimore. Let the era of Mahomes vs. Jackson begin. 
 
Los Angeles Chargers (Last Season: 5-11)
2020 Prediction: 6-6 
In my opinion, Tyrod Taylor is one of the most underrated QBs in the NFL. Let’s see if he can prove himself in Los Angeles. 
 
Denver Broncos (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 6-8
Joe Flacco is elite. But actually, who is starting at QB for Denver this season? Drew Lock? Really? Lol.
 
Oakland Raiders (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 5-7
Nothing could be more on-brand for the Raiders than finally opening their shiny new stadium in Las Vegas to no crowd. After multiple years of struggling to find a home, then two years of semi-displacement, the Raiders will have the most anti-climactic start to their Vegas tenure. I look forward to seeing them back in Oakland in 20 years. 
 

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens (Last Season: 14-2)
2020 Prediction: 10-4
Is Lamar Jackson ready to take the next step? Chiefs may have dibs on the moniker of "Next Dynasty,” but I wouldn’t count out the Jackson-led Ravens just yet. This may be the beginning of a great rivalry for years to come. 
 
Pittsburgh Steelers (Last Season: 8-8)
2020 Prediction: 9-6
Is the Big Ben era almost over? It has to be, right?
 
Cleveland Browns (Last Season: 6-10)
2020 Prediction: 4-7
At least the Browns can be proud of the fact that they are no longer the laughing stock of the AFC North. The Bengals slid seamlessly into that role. 
 
Cincinnati Bengals (Last Season: 2-14)
2020 Prediction: 3-10
Joe Burrow is likely to become the latest first overall pick bust. A quarterback on such a horrible team is always destined to fail. Should be a brutal year for him. 
 

AFC South

Houston Texans (Last Season: 10-6)
2020 Prediction: 10-4
Why is everyone so low on the Texans this year? I mean, they were certainly a bit overrated last season, but this division isn't exactly full of powerhouses. With Deshaun Watson still leading the way, I like Houston's chances of defending their AFC South crown.

Indianapolis Colts (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 8-7
This was supposed to be the year where Rivers got to play in a stadium with an actual homefield advantage for the first time since the Chargers left San Diego. COVID-19 had other plans. At least it’s better than feeling like the road team in your own stadium?
 
Tennessee Titans (Last Season: 9-7)
2020 Prediction: 7-7
Brady’s final throw of his New England career was a pick-six. Thank you, Tennessee. I am eternally grateful. 
 
Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Season: 6-10)
2020 Prediction: 3-10
The Jaguars are all in on Gardner Minshew and all out on Leonard Fournette. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. 
 

AFC East

New England Patriots (Last Season: 12-4)
2020 Prediction: 11-4
No Brady? No problem. Cam wins MVP en route to a Super Bowl Championship.
 
Buffalo Bills (Last Season: 10-6)
2020 Prediction: 7-7
I’m not a believer in Josh Allen or any team other than the Patriots in the AFC East, even sans Brady.
 
New York Jets (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 4-5
Sam Darnold is no savior. Even without Brady around, the Jets have no chance to win this division.
 
Miami Dolphins (Last Season: 5-11)
2020 Prediction: 4-10
Ryan Fitzpatrick is the best quarterback in this division, but no one could lead this atrocious Dolphins team to a winning season. 
 

NFC West

Los Angeles Rams (Last Season: 9-7)
2020 Prediction: 10-4
Maybe I’m just being stubborn, but I’m a believer in McVay. Let's see if the Rams return to their NFC Champion form this season.
 
San Francisco 49ers (Last Season: 13-3)
2020 Prediction: 9-5
The Niners are good, but last season seemed kinda fluky. Do it again, and I’ll become a believer. 
 
Seattle Seahawks (Last Season: 11-5)
2020 Prediction: 8-7
No homefield advantage this season? That’s kinda all the Seahawks have.
 
Arizona Cardinals (Last Season: 5-10-1)
2020 Prediction: 4-10
I’m thinking it’s time for Kyler Murray to reconsider baseball, but maybe I am being overly harsh (I am).
 

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (Last Season: 13-3)
2020 Prediction: 11-4
As long as Aaron Rodgers is around, Green Bay will be vying for the NFC North title. 
 
Minnesota Vikings (Last Season: 10-6)
2020 Prediction: 9-5
The Vikings were really good before they signed Kirk Cousins. Now they aren't as good. Maybe it's just a coincidence.
 
Chicago Bears (Last Season: 8-8)
2020 Prediction: 5-7
Is Trubisky still the starter for Chicago? I honestly don’t know. If so, no way he lasts the whole season with his job. 
 
Detroit Lions (Last Season: 3-12-1)
2020 Prediction: 3-10
It really seemed like the Lions were starting to figure out how to be relevant a few years ago. I guess that’s faded, just like Matt Stafford’s career. 
 

NFC South

New Orleans Saints (Last Season: 13-3)
2020 Prediction: 11-4
When are the Saints going to be bad again? Brees can’t throw the ball more than 15 yards down the field, yet here they are as NFC South favorites again. 
 
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 9-7
With the best offensive weapons of his career at his disposal, Brady will learn the problems that come with having a totally unreliable defense, and the challenges of having a coach other than Belichick.
 
Atlanta Falcons (Last Season: 7-9)
2020 Prediction: 8-6
The Falcons live in mediocrity. Will Matt Ryan ever realize his MVP form again?
 
Carolina Panthers (Last Season: 5-11)
2020 Prediction: 2-12
This is the worst team in the league. 
 

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys (Last Season: 8-8)
2020 Prediction: 9-5
This division is horrible. If the Cowboys can’t find a way to win it, then they just have to fire Jason Garrett. Wait, he’s not Dallas' head coach anymore? Mike McCarthy is the head coach? Lol.
 
Philadelphia Eagles (Last Season: 9-7)
2020 Prediction: 6-8
I can’t believe Carson Wentz almost won MVP once. Bring back Nick Foles! Wentz is trash!
 
Washington (Last Season: 3-13)
2020 Prediction: 2-8
Remove Dan Snyder!
 
New York Giants (Last Season: 4-12)
2020 Prediction: 2-9
The bad thing about reaching for a quarterback early in the first round of the draft is that you end up looking like an idiot no matter what. Either you bench him and admit your mistake, or you keep losing until you finally bench him and admit your mistake. Let the Daniel Jones era continue! 
 

Super Bowl Prediction: 
On the off chance that this season makes it to the Super Bowl, I’ll just go with two perennial powerhouses for my Super Bowl prediction. 
Prediction: New England Patriots defeat Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl LV, 13-10
The Patriots don’t need Brady! Brady is a fraud! Cam is great! Awww... Just the thought of this nonsense makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

So, I guess this is happening… Football 2020! Go team! Enjoy the season?

Goodbye NFL? Super Bowl LIV Recap

The game was great. The playoffs were great. My predictions were horrible. I finish with a pitiful playoff record of 3-8 ATS and a mediocre record of 7-4 straight up. I’ll save myself the embarrassment by not dwelling on that any longer. Instead, let's get right to the recap instead. 

Kansas City Chiefs win Super Bowl LIV, defeating the San Francisco 49ers, 31-20

Well, this game certainly lived up to the hype. Two great teams went head-to-head in a battle that was only decided in the final minutes. While my prediction didn’t exactly unfold as expected, there were certain aspects of it that came fairly close to being accurate. I predicted a Kansas City comeback, though I said that the Niners would ultimately prevail. I predicted that Garoppolo would get the ball down by five points with 2:35 remaining in the game. Instead, he got the ball down by four points with 2:39 remaining in the game. Of course, I predicted that Garoppolo would lead the Niners to victory, throwing a touchdown pass to George Kittle with no time remaining. Instead, the Chiefs defense stepped up, forcing an early turnover on downs, and ultimately icing the game on the ensuing drive, when Damien Williams scampered into the end zone from 38 yards out. 

On the biggest stage of the season, every play and every call was magnified. Shanahan’s odd clock management to end the first half was inexplicably bad. The offensive pass interference on Kittle was a 50/50 play that I would not typically expect to see called in the Super Bowl. And Garoppolo failed to put together a scoring drive when it counted most, in the final two minutes of the game. Jimmy G had his potential "Super Bowl moment" served up to him on a silver platter. It was his opportunity to prove all the naysayers wrong. His chance to cement his place in NFL history with an epic game-winning drive. However, with everything on the line, Garoppolo came up short. Whether or not it is fair to put all the blame on one player is beyond the point. History will remember the players who won games in the critical moments of the NFL’s biggest game, and Garoppolo may have missed the best chance he’ll ever get. 

But let’s turn that narrative on its head for a moment. Garoppolo came inches away from having his "Super Bowl moment." It was 3rd & 10 from the Kansas City 49-yard line. Emmanuel Sanders got behind the defense, streaking down the field on a post route. Garoppolo ripped the ball deep… but just overthrew his streaking receiver. It’s a throw that Garoppolo is certainly capable of making. If he hits it in that crucial moment, there’s a strong chance that the Niners go on to win the Super Bowl. But that’s football. With only a handful of possessions in each game, you only get a few possessions to win or lose a game.

However, the game was not only about missed opportunities. The optimist will say that what ultimately decided the game was Kansas City’s incredible ability to strike fast and relentlessly, something that they have proven to be adept at all season long. In the first 54 minutes of game time, the Chiefs scored 10 points. In the final 6 minutes, they scored 21 points. And that’s all it took to win. You can never count Mahomes out, and he proved it on the biggest stage, against one of the best defenses in the NFL. Whether you view this Super Bowl result as Shanahan failing to protect a lead again or Andy Reid finally exorcising his Super Bowl demons, one thing is for sure: Patrick Mahomes is here to say, and I have a feeling that this is only the first of many more Super Bowls to come for the exciting, young signal-caller. 

Prop Bets

But enough about the actual game. I’m sure what everyone is really wondering about is how my many Prop Bets went. And, as expected, I missed nearly all of them! I got the Coin Toss right, then missed basically every other bet! Demi Lovato’s National Anthem was well under two minutes. The first touchdown scorer was Mahomes, not Coleman (Coleman didn’t even score!). Pitbull wasn’t in the halftime show at all (thank god)! The final score was Under 54.5. The Gatorade bath was with orange Gatorade (yuck!), not red. For obvious reasons, Mahomes (not Garoppolo) won Super Bowl MVP. And Team Ruff didn’t even win the Puppy Bowl! Though they did cover the spread, as Team Fluff was able to avenge last year’s loss in a 63-59 thriller. 

In Closing...

And with Super Bowl LIV officially in the past, the 2019-20 NFL season has finally come to a close. The Super Bowl was entertaining. The season leading up to the game was entertaining. However, it all felt a bit hollow this year. Typically, I am already looking forward to next season, thinking about how [insert year] could finally be the year for the Raiders. However, that isn't the case this time. I don’t find myself looking forward to September 2020, when a long NFL offseason will finally come to an end. Maybe it’s the Raiders leaving Oakland. Maybe it’s my growing disgust for the league. Maybe it’s the sadness I feel when I watch these young men risk their future livelihoods on this silly and vicious game. Maybe it’s a combination of all these things. 

Will I be a football fan next season? I feel as though the proximity of the Raiders - the fun of the tailgates, the thrill of the Coliseum crowd - may have been one of the last things keeping me around as a fan of football. Proximity seems like a silly criterion for my fanhood. As I've noted in this blog many times before, when I first became a Raider fan as a child, I didn’t even know where Oakland was located. I only moved to the Bay Area after 18 years in Southern California and 4 years in Boston. It was only after college that I finally moved to Oakland, where my favorite team happened to play. And with my move, my fandom grew. However, almost by coincidence, my disdain for the league seemed to grow at the same rate. 

As my friends matured, most of them lost interest in the NFL and football in general. They began to see the darker side of this brutal sport. I was blinded by my fanhood. When they enlightened me, I felt ashamed. The games were entertaining, but deep down they made me feel sad and guilty. I saw the league for what it was and always has been, a modern day Gladiator Industry, where the rich effortlessly profit off the hard work of their labor. Fantasy Football began to lose some of its appeal, as it dehumanized the players to an even greater extent. All I had left was my fandom of the Raiders. The Oakland Raiders. Will the exploits of the team even interest me when they finally make their move to Las Vegas in 2020? 

So, why stick around? I enjoy the league for two reasons: the Raiders and, though it may seem silly, this blog. I’m an Engineer. I don’t have much of an outlet for my writing, beyond some Technical Writing in the form of dull Validation Protocols and Reports (which I admittedly enjoy). This is my outlet. However, I simply didn’t feel as inspired to write this season like I usually do. Maybe the monotony of the football season is finally beginning to bore me, or maybe I am simply losing my interest in the sport itself. So, will this be the end of Brosh Knows Football? Would anyone even care if it was? I’ll have to consider these things over the offseason, as I mull over the NFL's significance in my life. Will predicting the league still excite me? Will football still entertain me, rather than upset me? Will I even be a Raider fan in a few months? I guess only time will tell…

Super Bowl LIV: Predictions

It has finally arrived. The premier event of the sports year is just a couple days away. The Chiefs will look to win their first Super Bowl in 50 years, while the Niners hope to match the Steelers and Patriots for first place in total Super Bowl wins at six. So who will win Super Bowl LIV? There's only one way to find out... well, two ways actually. You can either watch the game or you can just read my predictions. Your choice. (Warning: Spoilers ahead!)

Super Bowl LIV @ Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida

Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) vs. San Francisco 49ers (13-3)

February 2nd, 6:30 PM ET (Current Line, Chiefs -1.5)

In a game that has the potential to produce offensive fireworks, the Kansas City Chiefs and their explosive passing game will take on a San Francisco 49ers team that has proven to be lethal through both the air and ground. While calling the Chiefs one-dimensional may feel like an insult, it is hard to argue that the passing game is far and away the most prolific part of the team. Mahomes has arguably the best arm in the league, and he is surrounded by some of the best offensive weapons in the league. The Chiefs are all speed, and they have the ability to make any defense look absolutely ridiculous. Tyreek Hill can run by any defender. Watkins and Hardman are speedsters themselves, dwarfed only by the speed of the aforementioned Hill. Kelce draws the attention of two defenders whenever he runs across the middle of the field. And Damien Williams can make defenders miss in the backfield, whether it is after a quick dump-off pass or off of a well-designed counter-run. 

Meanwhile, the San Francisco offense may be even more potent than that of Kansas City. The Niners have decimated opponents on the ground all season, with last game’s thrashing of Green Bay being no anomaly. If it weren’t for the running prowess of Lamar Jackson, the Niners most likely would have led the league in rushing. The offensive line has been a run blocking juggernaut all season, opening massive holes for Mostert, Coleman, and Breida to speed through. And even though the passing game has not gotten as much attention as of late, the 49ers can hurt opponents through the air as well, which they demonstrated in their Week 14 win over the Saints, when Garoppolo threw for 349 yards and four touchdowns in a thrilling 48-46 victory.

But what about the defenses? Will either be able to handle the monumental tasks ahead of them? While the Chiefs and 49ers have both been a bit vulnerable against the run, they have both been more effective against the pass. Of course, the 49ers weren't simply effective against the pass this season; they were nearly unbeatable, allowing a league-leading 169 yards per game. Seeing how effective Mahomes can be against this dominating pass defense should be thrilling to watch. What I expect to be particularly interesting is the battle between the offensive line of Kansas City and the defensive line of San Francisco. The Chiefs finished third in the league in sacks allowed with 25, while the Niners finished fifth in the league with 48 quarterback sacks. Though the Chiefs have done a good job of protecting Mahomes all season, some of this may be due to the simple fact that Mahomes is great at escaping pressure. So, even if the Niners aren’t able to bring Mahomes down in the backfield, simply applying constant pressure may be enough to rattle the young QB. With regards to the ground game, the Chiefs defense has been quite more porous in that regard (26th during the regular season), something that the potent 49ers running game will certainly try to take advantage of. 

In what is expected to be such a tightly contested battle, will this game come down to the final possession? Will which quarterback who comes up with the big plays in the clutch be the deciding factor? With expectations so high for Mahomes, will he try to force the ball into tight spots when things get tough, or will he keep his cool just like he has done all season long? Could the fact that Garoppolo has lower expectations actually benefit the San Francisco quarterback? Will the running take the totality of the offensive burden off Jimmy G's shoulders? Will these two quarterbacks -- both of whom are making their first Super Bowl appearance -- produce the exciting spectacle that we all desire???

Prediction: On Mahomes’ first pass of the game, the ball pops off of Kelce’s hands, into the air and right into the waiting arms of Jimmie Ward. The Niner offense set up inside the Chiefs’ 30-yard line. Five running plays later, San Francisco scores on a Tevin Coleman run from 4 yards out. On the ensuing possession, the Chiefs are forced into a three-and-out, as Nick Bosa gets to Mahomes for a sack on third down. San Francisco blocks the punt and returns it for a touchdown, sprinting out to a 14-0 lead in the first five minutes of the game. The Chiefs are shocked awake by the rough start. They are able to tough out a long drive on their next possession, but it only results in three points. At the end of the first quarter, the score is 14-3. 

The Niners extend their lead in the second quarter on a long touchdown pass to Deebo Samuel, as San Francisco continues to roll. Another Kansas City turnover turns into another San Francisco touchdown, as Shanahan and the Niners build an insurmountable 28-3 lead. There’s no way Shanahan could blow a Super Bowl lead like this! His team is so comfortably ahead! Up by four scores, Shanahan and the Niners would have to experience a monumental collapse to let the Chiefs back into this game... 

Mahomes immediately answers with touchdown passes on back-to-back drives to end the first half, cutting the lead to 28-17 right before the break. 

Kansas City keeps the momentum in the second half, even after a long and horrible halftime show. Mahomes strikes first in the second half on a long pass to Tyreek Hill, cutting the lead to 4. Mostert fumbles the ball away on the next possession, and Mahomes responds with his fourth touchdown pass of the game, as the Chiefs take their first lead of the game, 31-28. But the lead doesn’t last long, as Breida scores on a 65-yard screen pass on the very next possession. But that lead doesn’t last long either, as Mahomes throws his fifth touchdown pass just before the end of the third quarter. Unfortunately, a missed extra point keeps the Chiefs' lead at two, 37-35. 

The lead changes continue into the fourth quarter. The Niners get a field goal to take the lead by one. The Chiefs score a touchdown (a rushing score by Mahomes) but fail on the two-point conversion. When the dust finally begins to settle, the Niners have the ball with 2:35 to go, down by five points. Our dream Super Bowl scenario is upon us, as Garoppolo must score on the final drive of the game to win it for the Niners. The Niners come up with big play after big play, as they eventually find themselves with 3rd and goal from the 6-yard line with only four seconds remaining. San Francisco runs a bootleg to the right. No one is open, and Garoppolo is quickly running out of time and space. Just before he steps out of bounds, he desperately zips the ball across his body, looking for Emmanuel Sanders at the Goal Line. However, the ball is tipped away… and off of a defender’s helmet… and off the fingertips of Kendrick Bourne... and into the waiting hands of GEORGE KITTLE. Kittle makes the catch with no time remaining, as the 49ers win Super Bowl LIV, 44-43.

Wow. What an unbelievable finish. A Super Bowl for the ages. No amount of Mahomes magic (six total touchdowns!) is enough to topple the 49ers. Sorry to spoil the ending for you, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself any longer! I’m nervously shaking just from typing this out! Wow. Just wow. Anyways… I know what you’re thinking… what about all those stupid prop bets? Do you have any advice on those? You better believe I do! My ironclad predictions continue below.

Coin Toss

Options:

Heads

Tails

Prediction: Tails

Tails currently leads the all-time series with a record of 28-25. No reason to question that record of success. However, just to be sure, I decided to run a highly complicated simulation to determine the most likely coin toss outcome. Based on an algorithm that analyzed the results of over 100 Million coin tosses, I have determined that the most likely coin toss result is Tails. 

Length of National Anthem

Options:

Over 2:00

Under 2:00 

Prediction: Over

I’m going to look up who’s singing the national anthem. Hold on. One second. Almost got it. Ahhh, Demi Lovato. I know her. She does that one song, right? It goes like, “Dun dun dun, Why you gotta go and make things so complicated? Blah blah blah blah.” Right? I totally know who this is. I guess I’ll go with the over? Sure. Whatever.

First Player to Score a Touchdowns

Options:

Many

Prediction: Tevin Coleman (14-1)

I like the odds on Coleman since he is kinda hurt but not really. Gives him some good value. Also, I already know what’s going to happen during the game, and based on my above predictions, Coleman hits paydirt first in this Super Bowl. 

Total Score

Options:

Over 54.5

Under 54.5

Prediction: Over

My full game prediction is above. If you can do simple math, you will be able to figure out that 87 is far greater than 54.5.

Color of liquid thrown on winning coach

Options:

Lime/Green/Yellow (+275)

Red/Pink (+300)

Clear/Water (+300)

Orange (+400)

Blue (+400)

Purple (+1400)

Prediction: Red/Pink

Uhhh… both teams have red uniforms. I’m going with red. No question.

Celebrity Appearance During Halftime Show

Options:

Pitbull: Yes (-700)/No (+400)

Will Smith: Yes (+300)/No (-500)

Enrique Iglesias: Yes (+500)/No (-1000)

Ricky Martin: Yes (-140)/No (+100)

DJ Khaled: Yes (+130)/No (-170)

Prediction: If Pitbull doesn’t make an appearance in what should be an absolutely brutal halftime show, I’ll eat my hat.

Super Bowl MVP

Options: 

Many

Prediction: Jimmy Garoppolo (+350)

Well, I’m predicting a 49ers victory, so may as well take Jimmy G at these awesome odds. That being said, I also predict that Mahomes accounts for SIX total touchdowns. Is it possible for Mahomes to win the MVP while playing on the losing team...?

Winner of 16th Puppy Bowl

Options:

Team Fluff (-140)

Team Ruff (EVEN)

Prediction: Team Ruff

Somehow Team Fluff is 7.5 point favorites this year, even though Team Ruff DESTROYED them in last year’s competition. I’m gonna stick with Team Ruff again. They went undefeated during the regular season, so there is really no reason to think that will change in the 16th Puppy Bowl.

Well, there you have it, all my flawless predictions. The San Francisco 49ers grab Super Bowl number six in the most exciting finish in the 54 year history of the NFL’s biggest game. It’s only fitting that they would do this during the Raiders’ last season in the Bay Area. I guess it will make it easier for me and all the other Oakland Raider fans to convert to 49er fans...

2020 Conference Championship Recap

After 266 NFL football games only two teams remain, and fortunately for us, it’s two of the best in the league. One final game in Miami will decide who will be called NFL Champions. But first, how did we get here? In case you hadn't heard, there were two Conference Championship games last weekend that set our Super Bowl matchup. The AFC Title game held my attention for a bit, but once Kansas City took the lead it never felt like Tennessee had a chance. Meanwhile, the NFC Title game was an absolute bloodbath, as the 49ers convincingly crushed the Packers. As far as my predictions went, I was 2-0 straight up and 1-1 ATS on the weekend, bringing my totals 7-3 straight up and 3-7 ATS. Hmmm, not great. For your sake, hopefully my recaps are more accurate than my predictions… Let’s find out!

Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) defeat the Tennessee Titans (9-7), 35-24

This one was certainly almost interesting! The Titans deployed their best defense in the first quarter: keeping their offense on the field. And it worked! Thanks to some slow methodical drives, both teams were limited to only four possessions in the first half. This was ideal for Tennessee, as keeping Mahomes off the field was an effective way of stopping him. Unfortunately, their early ten point lead quickly evaporated, due to three straight Kansas City touchdown drives to end the half. Once the Chiefs took the lead, there seemed to be little hope for the Titans, even though the game remained relatively close throughout. Tennessee was simply not built to make a big comeback; Henry and the defense were built to bleed away precious time, not strike quickly. So, when Kansas City stretched their lead to 18 points in the second half, all hope seemed lost for the over-achieving Titans. 

Mahomes led the Chiefs to touchdowns on 5 of 6 drives in the middle of the game, and that was all that was needed to seal the win. Kansas City has won in bursts like this all season, which is why they are always a threat to beat you. Right when the defense feels like they might have the offense figured out, Mahomes and Reid make the adjustment, and suddenly there is no slowing them down. In a blink of an eye, you’ve given up a full games-worth of points, and there is no hope for victory. But the offense is even more nuanced than being capable of a few big plays each game. Mahomes can rip off multiple touchdown drives in a row, and he can do it either fast or slow. The speedy touchdowns are daggers, meant to leave the defense wandering around dazed and confused, questioning positioning and playcalls. The slow drives are punishing, showing that the Kansas City offense can dictate the pace of the game whenever they want, the equivalent of a cat playing with its food. When the Chiefs are at their best, they are a pleasure to watch. Will they be able to dictate the pace of the game in two weeks against the NFC Champs? 

San Francisco 49ers (13-3) defeat the Green Bay Packers (13-3), 37-20

Another weekend, another winning team led by a quarterback with less than 90 passing yards (hat tip to Ryan Tannehill for the first two). But seriously, what the hell is going on in the NFL? This style of football predates my own existence, so I actually don’t even recognize it as the “old way” of football; I just recognize it for the odd monstrosity that it is. Garoppolo threw for 77 yards on only six completions! Those stats are easily attainable on a single drive, let alone an entire football game. In defense of the Niners, this wasn’t a team that was refusing to change their game plan. San Francisco simply had no reason to try anything else. As Mostert ripped off long run after long run, the Niners were probably just as baffled as all the viewers at home who couldn’t figure out why the Packers had no answer for the ground game. Mostert was averaging 10 yards per carry on his first 19 attempts of the game, leading the Niners to a commanding 27-0 lead. He eventually finished with a slightly more reasonable per carry average, rushing for 220 yards on 29 carries over the entire game. Those are high school numbers (and I didn’t even mention the four touchdowns he scored)! 

It was simply a baffling game. Rodgers did well to pad his stats towards the end, so the box score will indicate that the Packers played honorably against the vaunted San Francisco defense, save for a few turnovers. However, that was obviously not the story of the game. Rodgers was harassed by a relentless pass rush. The offense had no rhythm. The defense was simply overpowered. And both teams were basically checked out by halftime. Now, will the Niners need Garoppolo to contribute on Super Bowl Sunday, or can the run game provide enough offense to hang with the firepower of the Kansas City offense? I can’t wait to find out.

On a side note, congrats to me on an incredibly well-predicted NFC Title game. While I didn’t say San Francisco would get out to such an absurd halftime lead, I did come fairly close to predicting the final score exactly right, as my prediction of 37-18 was somewhat respectable. You know what they say, even the blind squirrel finds the nut sometimes... Anyways, I’ll try to use that momentum to carry me to some successful Super Bowl predictions. To my loyal readers, you can expect those predictions to come in later next week. In the meantime, I’ve got a lot to think about. This Super Bowl could really go any way. Will the Chiefs’ dominant offense rule the day? Will San Francisco’s smothering defense and run game control the tempo? What color will the Gatorade be? It has to be red, right? I mean, c’mon, the primary color for both teams is red! Unless that’s a decoy… so much to think about...

Playoff Predictions: Conference Championships 2020

The end of the NFL season is fast approaching. Only four teams remain. The Titans, Chiefs, 49ers, and Packers all have title dreams, but only one of those dreams will ultimately be realized. So, enough chit-chat. Let’s get right to the predictions.

Tennessee Titans (9-7) @ Kansas City Chiefs (12-4)

Sunday, 3:05 PM ET (Current Line, Chiefs -7)

The only thing I can say for sure is that if the Titans end up making it to the Super Bowl, they certainly deserved it. A win against the Chiefs will mean that Tennessee would have vanquished all of the AFC’s top three seeds on their way to the AFC Title. While their regular season record was not impressive at all, it should be noted that the Titans have been a totally different team since they replaced Mariota with Tannehill behind Center. As I have previously pointed out, Tannehill led the league in quarterback rating this season at 117.5, on his way to amassing a record of 7-3 as the starter in Tennessee. So, Tannehill must be the reason that Tennessee’s success has continued through the playoffs, right? Well, as you know, through two playoff games Tannehill is averaging a mere 80 yards passing per game. Yet the Titans continue to win, imposing their will on opponents, thanks to a heavy dose of Derrick Henry and arguably a heavier dose of suffocating defense. Will their success continue against the potent Chiefs offense? 

Do you think Kansas City remembers their meeting with the Titans back in Week 10? I know I do. It was a wild game that saw clutch plays/chaos propel the Titans to an unexpected victory. Fortunately for the Chiefs they will have the home crowd on their side for the rematch, as the Arrowhead faithful hope to will the Chiefs back to the Super Bowl, somewhere they haven’t been in 50 years. As I’ve already mentioned, the Titans have built their playoff run on defense. However, Mahomes is a whole different beast. With so many speedy weapons at his disposal, this offense is designed to score fast and often. The only fear for Kansas City is that they are not designed to stop the run. This season, the Chiefs ranked 8th against the pass and 26th against the run. It looks like Henry will be feasting again this weekend, unless the Chiefs can get out to an early lead. If Tannehill is forced to throw the ball a lot, this game could turn into a rout. 

Prediction: It’s the Titans who get out to the early lead, as Henry scores from 1 yard out after a long touchdown drive to open the game. Things start to feel eerily similar to the game in Baltimore just a week ago, as the Titans score again in the second quarter, making it 14-0. Kansas City is able to cash in on a couple of Butker field goals, as Tennessee heads into halftime with a 14-6 lead… the same score they led by last weekend. Arrowhead goes silent as Tennessee scores the next 14 points (just like last weekend), extending their lead to 28-6 in the third quarter. However, that’s when everything changes. The Chiefs score three touchdowns in 7 minutes of game time, all off the arm of Mahomes. For some reason, Andy Reid doesn’t go for two after any of the touchdowns, so the Chiefs still trail 28-27 midway through the fourth quarter. With three minutes left in the game, Mahomes throws his fourth touchdown pass of the afternoon. However, a missed two-point conversion leaves the door wide open for a Titan rally, as Kansas City only leads by 5. Tannehill moves the Titans into Kansas City territory before a game-clinching sack on fourth down seals the win and completes the epic comeback for the Chiefs, on their way to a 33-28 victory and a Super Bowl LIV berth. 

Green Bay Packers (13-3) @ San Francisco 49ers (13-3)

Sunday, 6:40 PM ET (Current Line, 49ers -7.5)

The NFC Title game will also be a rematch from the regular season. However, the Packers would prefer that you not know about that, as they got walloped 37-8 in their earlier meeting with the Niners this season. The San Francisco defense was their typical suffocating self, holding Rodgers to a paltry 104 yards passing, largely thanks to a relentless pass rush that recorded five sacks. So, should we expect similar things this time around? There's little reason to see why not. Garoppolo has only gotten more comfortable as the year has gone on, his torn ACL a distant memory. Kittle is one the most talented tight ends in the league. Sanders has been a great addition to the passing game. The running backs are at full strength. And the defense really has been as good as advertised. 

However, no matter what the aforementioned past result may say, this Packer team is nothing to scoff at. Green Bay hasn’t dropped a game since their loss to the Niners in Week 12. That being said, they haven’t exactly been playing against top talent as of late. While wins over the Vikings and Seahawks looked good, barely escaping against the Redskins and Lions did not. Still, with Rodgers behind Center it would be silly to count this team out. Though Aaron is certainly no longer in the prime of his career, he can still sling the ball with the accuracy of a top-tier quarterback. Now, if he can just avoid getting sacked all day, Green Bay may stand a chance. 

Prediction: Just like in Week 12, Rodgers is strip-sacked on the opening drive of the game. Coleman punches the ball into the end zone from two yards out, as the Niners are rolling from the onset. However, Green Bay is immediately able to right the ship this time, as the Packers score on their next drive, tying things up in the early going. Things slow down after that, and at halftime San Francisco only holds a narrow lead, 13-10. After the break, the Niners strike first on a long touchdown pass to Deebo Samuel. The floodgates begin to burst, as San Francisco outscores Green Bay 21-0 in the third quarter. Rodgers continues to get harassed in the backfield, as the Packers simply cannot find their rhythm. The Niners strut their way to Super Bowl LIV, 37-18. 

I predict an all-red Championship Game. Kansas City heads to their first Super Bowl in 50 years, while San Francisco returns after a brief seven-year absence from the league’s biggest game. Enjoy this weekend of football!... even if you already know what's going to happen.