Still haven’t seen your favorite team in the NFL Season Previews? Good for you. It only continues to get better… kinda. These next four teams are your biggest fakers. Was your team surprisingly good last year en route to an unexpected playoff appearance? Well, turns out they were fakers and will go back to mediocrity / sucking this season. Does your team always overperform in the regular season, only to unexpectedly fall apart in the playoffs when they get destroyed by an actually half decent team? Your team is a faker. Does your team have hype around an untalented, unproven quarterback that is sure to fail? Guess what?! Your team is also a faker! Really, nearly every team in the NFL is a faker. However, I decided to narrow down this category to just four particularly pungent fakers. I look forward to the hate mail.
Dallas Cowboys (Last Season: 13-3, NFC Regular Season Top Seed)
2017 Prediction: 6-10
I’ve got some bad news for fans of the Boys. This is a team of fakers. Jerry Jones is evil (I’m not biased because of how influential he was in the Raiders’ move to Las Vegas), Jason Garrett is dumb-looking, and most Cowboys fans are really just random people that like how the hat looks. Anyways, when actually considering the on-field performance, this team overperformed last year and is doomed to totally fall apart this season. Dak and Zeke showed great promise during their rookie campaigns, but I don’t expect the same success this season. Dak’s most impressive stat were his 4 interceptions over the course of the entire regular season. Prescott was never forced to take chances, as he was usually ahead when the offense took the field. I expect the rookie quarterback to be in more uncomfortable situations this season, partly due to changes at offensive line. While the Dallas offensive line is still one of the top units in the NFL, I am skeptical that it will be just as good as last year, as the Cowboys had to replace 2 of their 5 starters (Leary and Free) in the offseason. With more on-the-field pressure in the form of defensive ends and more off the field pressure in the form of higher expectations, I expect to see some cracks in the Dallas armour this season, as Prescott is forced to make throws that he is not used to.
Denver Broncos (Last Season: 9-7)
2017 Prediction: 9-7
Alright, I’m not exactly saying that Denver will be a huge flop this season, since I am predicting that they finish with 9 wins agains, but I am saying that the ceiling for this team is pretty clear. As long as the Broncos have to rely on Trevor Siemian, I expect the offense to be a sore spot for this team. Recently, Denver has successfully relied on stellar defensive play to lead this team into the playoffs. However, the defense is no longer as strong as it was during Manning’s last season, and no matter how much praise Siemian gets from John Elway, this is not Denver’s second coming of Peyton Manning. Von Miller is still a beast, and the rest of the front seven will cause all kinds of trouble for opposing running and passing games. However, as Talib (31) and Chris Harris (28) continue to age, I am skeptical about this team’s ability to defend against the league’s top receivers, since both defensive backs are beginning to hit the age where cornerbacks start to a lose a step or two. As these two pass their prime, I expect to see holes in the secondary start to open up. However, whether or not Talib and Harris are at their best, the team simply does not have all the pieces it needs to succeed in a very strong AFC West. The Broncos most likely stay relevant in the divisional conversation late into the season, but don’t let that fool you. This is a team of fakers.
Houston Texans (Last Season: 9-7, AFC South Champions)
2017 Prediction: 8-8
Maybe placing this team in the Mediocrity portion of the Season Previews would have been more appropriate, seeing as they have finished 9-7 for the last three straight seasons… however, there true place is here. This team is the ultimate group of fakers. Every year, fans and analysts obsess about their great defense, but let’s face it, any defense would look good when they get to play 6 games against the worst division in the NFL every year. Switch out the Texans in the AFC South for some lousy team with a solid defense (let’s say the Rams), and that team would win this division. In 2015, the Texans snuck into the playoffs as division champions, only to get lit up by the Chiefs, 30-0. Last season, the Texans once again limped in as the weakest division champion. After defeating the Raiders in a game I don’t want to talk about, the Texans promptly loss to an actual good team, the Patriots (though I’ll admit that that game was more competitive than I thought it would be, but still they lost by 18). So, how long will this charade last? With Tom Savage behind center, the Texans may not be able to defend their division crown for much longer. Will Houston once again sneak into the postseason as the weakest team in the playoffs, or should we expect a titanic shift in the divisional landscape this season?
Oakland Raiders (Last Season: 12-4, First playoff appearance since 2002)
2017 Prediction: 9-7
As much as it pains me to say it, the Raiders are fakers. In games decided by 7 points or less, the Raiders were a ridiculous 8-1. You can say all you want about the Raiders “learning to win,” but luck was the real factor in these games (though it’s hard to feel lucky when your starting quarterback gets hurt in Week 16 of a potential MVP caliber season). Fortunate penalties, botched holds, missed field goals, and timely turnovers all helped steer the Raiders to 12 wins. Nearly every game was a nail-biter, with the only comfortable wins coming against the Jaguars, Broncos, and Colts. So why is this a team of fakers? I mean, surely the offense will be great again, right? Carr is consistent. The strong receiving corps has only gotten better with the additions of Cordarrelle Patterson and Jared Cook. The offensive line has the chance to be the strongest in the NFL. And the running game gets to experience the return of Marshawn Lynch.
While that’s all good and dandy for the offense, the biggest issues were all on the defensive side of the ball for the Raiders last year, and most of them went unaddressed in the offseason. Of all the issues, linebacker is the biggest, as the Raiders have yet to sign a decent inside linebacker. The defensive backs are a mess. Sean Smith is slow. David Amerson is good in flashes, but would realistically be a number two cornerback in a proper NFL defense. And Gareon Conley is dealing with injuries (and domestic abuse charges). Meanwhile, Reggie Nelson is horribly overrated, as he is simply too slow to play free safety effectively. With enormous deficiencies at safety and linebacker, tight ends will continue to tear up this defense, just as they did last season. The Raiders are still good, and the potent passing attack will certainly keep them in striking distance during most games this season. However, there are simply too many holes on defense for this team. Expect them to regress from last season’s strong regular season.
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