NFL Season Preview Part 9: Teams That Are Satan And So Are Their Fans

Somehow only one team fits this specific description, which I guess makes sense. It takes a truly vile team with a truly vile fanbase to fall into this category, which is why I am obvious talking about the…

New England Patriots (Last Season: 14-2, Super Bowl Champions)

The Patriots looked just as good as ever last season, on their way to a dominating season, which included snagging the Division Title for the 8th straight year (13th out of the past 14 seasons), homefield advantage throughout the playoffs, and another Super Bowl trophy. This team has no weaknesses. The system is humming, Brady still looks good, and Belichick is still at his best. They will once again be favorites to win the Super Bowl, and why not? The Patriots are arguably the greatest mark of consistency of all time. Even when it seemed like all hope was lost, down 28-3 against the Falcons, the Patriots were able to come back, taking advantage of every tiny opportunity that the Falcons gave them. And thanks to a unbelievable catch by Edelman (that was really just ridiculous luck because GODDAMNIT Alford intercept that damn ball and just END THE DAMN GAME ALREADY), the Patriots were able to complete the comeback, winning the first ever Super Bowl to go to overtime. From a neutral standpoint (I was not from a neutral standpoint if you couldn’t tell), this game was objectively incredible. An insane comeback, last minute drama, and two historically great quarterbacks, battling it out to the end.

So, as another season approaches, the Patriots are once again assured to win the AFC East (especially this year, as the Bills and Jets have already decided to tank, and the Dolphins are mediocre at best). The running back by committee will once again be strong, the offense got a shiny new toy in Brandin Cooks (though they lost Edelman for the season), and if Gronk stays healthy this offense should be as good as usual. The defense will continue to do enough to succeed, and blah blah blah blah. The Patriots will be good again, and they will probably get homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. Same old story. I swear to god if they win the Super Bowl again this year…